My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
