Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
