If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize