the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
