MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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