And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
