at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
