whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
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