We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize