Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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