Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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