We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
