I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
