I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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