i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
