She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
