if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
