girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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