the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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