Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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