You made me cry and you don't even care
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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