Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
