These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize