if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
