at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
