Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
