I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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