There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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