actually, I'm a sock model
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Randomize
