i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
someone owes me an orgasm
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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