Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
