Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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