I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I skipped work to stalk him.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
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