his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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