Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
