And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
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