Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
