margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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