so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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