lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
