My vagina just recognized that song.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
