So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Randomize
