it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
