idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
tell me about the eggs
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
