At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
