i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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