I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
