I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
