we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
