See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
