He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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