i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
