Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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