Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
