what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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