First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
