Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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