Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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