girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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