One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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