I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
