really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
