i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Randomize