Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
My dick has a subreddit
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
