she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
