I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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