It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize