so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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